Tomorrow Will Be a Test

I don't want you to think that this is going to be a negative post based on the title. Tomorrow is actually going to be a very good day, because I have the day off. I am taking a much needed day off work in order to get a few things done, and for my yearly female checkup. One of the things that I have on the agenda for tomorrow will be a major test for me. You see, tomorrow I am shopping for a bathing suit. You might think that as much time as I spend in the pool that I would have learned to be a little more comfortable in a bathing suit, well I haven't. I am still extremely self conscious in a bathing suit. I wear, wash, and dry my current bathing suit 3 times a week at the moment. So I am getting a new bathing suit that I will use only when I am not working out. I am the kind of person that researches everything before I buy, so I have my options narrowed down a lot so that I don't get overwhelmed tomorrow. The reason that I say that tomorrow will be a test is because every time I have ever tried on a bathing suit in the past (even when I was skinny), I immediately went on self-critical rant. I stand in front of the changing room mirror and pick a part my body, noticing every possible flaw. My goal for tomorrow is to try on my bathing suit, and tell myself three things that I like about my body. I have got to start working on building my confidence as I shed this weight, so that it is not an issue for me down the road. I haven't quite decided if I am going to post a picture of me wearing the swimsuit that I pick to the blog, but it would be a big step for me to do that. The only thing that I am hesitant about posting a picture like that is that I still have quite a bit of cellulite on my legs. It is one of my biggest insecurities, but I think it would be good for me to get that out there. I went back and forth about actually posting how much I weighed when I started this blog. I was afraid that I wouldn't see it through, and then all my friends and family would know exactly what I weigh. I am so glad that I did though, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I love to look back at that number and see how far I have come. Maybe I will have a similar experience with my hate/hate relationship with cellulite if I post a swimsuit picture, so we will see!

Thanks for reading,

Sarah