I did it!

If you read my blog on Sunday, then you will know that today I decided to bump my elliptical time up to 1 hour. I am here to report that I was successful! Never in a million years did I ever think that I could survive a whole hour on the elliptical. I remember previous weight loss journeys that I had started, and not even being able to make it to 15 minutes. This is a huge deal for me because in my mind this means that I am actually starting to become fit. I always remember watching other people on the elliptical going for an hour when I was dying at ten minutes and thinking, "Wow! They must be in really good shape!". Now, however many weight loss attempts later, I am one of those people! Am I where I need to be? Not by a long shot, but I am a heck of a lot closer than I was when I started. I wore a shirt to work today that I haven't worn in a while. It was already a baggy shirt (as most of my clothes tend to be) but today, it was literally falling off of me!  Also, one of my best friends at work told me that my pants look big today. These were pants that made me uncomfortable to button not even two months ago. I am not looking at a scale everyday, but who needs to when you are seeing new changes in your body all the time. Every time someone tells me that something looks different about me, or tells me that I'm looking thinner, I know that I am one step closer to my goal.

To make my switch to one hour on the elliptical, I made a few changes so that I knew that I could make it the whole time. During a normal work out on the elliptical I keep my incline at 10 and my resistance somewhere between 7 and 10, depending on how I am feeling that day. I try to push myself to go as fast as a can while still maintaining my speed for the full time. Today, I set my incline at 10 and my resistance at 5, and I slowed my speed up just a tad. I normally try to stick as close to a 12 minute mile as I can, but today I was staying some where between 13:30 and 14:00 per mile. On Thursday I plan on keeping my incline and resistance the same, and focusing on speeding my mile up just a bit. I am so excited to see what is to come in my future work outs. I am looking forward to challenging my body in ways that I never thought possible.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

It doesn't get much better than this...

I am posting today because we were out of town all day yesterday for a family wedding. We left the house at 5:00 am and did not get home until midnight so it was a long day. It was very special because we got to see Brandon's Aunt who is 52 years old marry her boyfriend of about 30 years. They looked so happy. Needless to say we were exhausted. I had every intention of sleeping very late this morning, but Brandon was wide awake at 6:15 because his body got off schedule since he works nights. I stayed in bed as long as I could but I was up by 8:30, so much for sleeping in. I decided that I should get my work out over with so that I wouldn't dread it for the rest of the day. I ate breakfast and got ready, only to get to the gym and realize that they don't open until 2:00 on Sundays. So I went home, got ready and we decided to go to the grocery store and stock up for the week. We shopped really healthy and just had a great time talking. We got home, had lunch and decided to watch a movie. I am ashamed to say that I have only seen one of the Star Wars movies, and my husband (who is a major geek) was determined to correct this travesty. We cuddled up under a nice warm blanket and watched Episode IV. I was struggling to stay awake during the movie because I was still so tired from yesterday, but I made it. Brandon had to take a nap since he works tonight, and I decided to take one with him. I never take naps but I was really tired, and I will take any excuse to lay down with Brandon since we never get to sleep together. I slept for an hour and a half and woke up feeling so refreshed. I got ready and went for my work out and did really well. I hit 3 miles at 36:25 so that is my best time yet! I came home took a shower, and cooked dinner. We enjoyed our dinner, and watched one of our favorite shows. The reason that I am giving you a play by play of my day is because, it was the best day that I have had in a really long time. Everything about it was just so perfect. I am finding myself having more and more good days. I still have bad ones as you have seen, but the good are definitely out weighing the bad. I have struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, and I know that my poor health was a huge part of that. I look forward to having more and more good days as I continue to get my health back on track.  I plan to take my elliptical time up to 1 hour this week, I know it is going to be an adjustment at first so I am going to pace my speed on Tuesday to make sure I don't run out of gas before I get to an hour. If you had told me 3 months ago that I would be able to run on the elliptical for an hour, I would have laughed at you. That is the amazing thing about this experience. My body is surprising me every day with things that I never thought that I would be capable of doing. So if you are starting a weight loss journey and you are disappointed that you are getting out of breath easily, keep at it! It gets easier! I am sure that you will find soon enough that your body is capable of more than you think.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Milestone

Today's post is going to be a short one. As I mentioned in Tuesday's post, I wasn't having the best day and my workout suffered because of it. I knew I had to do better today, so I pushed myself really hard. It paid off because I had my best time yet! I have really been trying hard to get my 3 miles in at under 40 minutes. I have been really close, but today I did that and exceeded it. I actually got a full 3.1 miles (the length of a 5k) at 39:12. I realize that 3.1 miles on the elliptical and 3.1 miles on the ground are very different, but this is still a big deal for me. I think letting yourself be proud of reaching little goals is a very important part of reaching your overall goal. Instead of being disappointed that you have a long way to go, let yourself be excited about losing ten pounds! Sometimes looking at the overall picture can be overwhelming, instead try taking it one step at a time. I have lost ten pounds of my total 75 pound goal, which means  I have already achieved 13% of my total goal. I am learning to love myself, and allowing myself to be proud of my accomplishments is a big part of that. It is important to work on the internal side of losing weight as well as the external. Conquering the internal demons of weight loss is the most important step to keeping the weight off. I have said from the start that this time is different, and I meant it.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Work Out That Frustration

So, today has not been the best day. It is going to sound like I am complaining, well because I am but I promise I have a point that I will get to. I don't know why, but I have just been in a down right bad mood today. I didn't have the best day at work and I can honestly say that today was the first time that I really had to FORCE myself to go to the gym. I was just over today and I wanted to crawl in bed and sleep until tomorrow. I made myself go, and my time wasn't great (3 miles in 44:23) but I was still proud of myself for going at all. I came home knowing that I had to cook dinner, and when I got there I went through my normal routine of putting my things away and feeding our two cats. I walked into the "cat's room" (our half bath that we have devoted to them) and our 2 year old cat Liono had pooped in the floor. I would just like to say that this is not normal for him but we have thrown some changes at them this week, and as anyone who owns cats can tell you, they don't handle change well. I cleaned everything up, and tried to keep my cool. I got dinner started and decided to go upstairs and change out of my gym clothes. When I walked into my bathroom, I found that Space Ghost, out 16 week old kitten had pooped in my bathtub (like I said they don't like change.) This just sent me over the edge. I had already had a crappy day, and then I got home and had to deal with more crap, literally. I all of a sudden really wanted to go to the gym and run! I just wanted to get all my aggression out. I had already had a pretty intense work out for the day so I did the next best thing, and I cleaned. The point is, instead of turning to food to release my aggression my first instinct was to go to the gym instead. This is a really big deal for me. I feel like I am truly conquering my issues with food! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, but today has already brightened up because I jumped a huge hurdle. By the way, I have included an adorable picture of Liono and Space Ghost, just so you can see that they really are sweet!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Weigh In Time!

So the time has finally come, it is weigh in time! My starting weight was 219.6 lbs, and today I weighed in at 209.2 lbs. That is a 10.4lb loss! I am almost at the 4 week mark so that averages out to a little over 2 1/2 lbs per week. I am happy with these numbers, because I have been aiming for 2lbs per week, so it means that I have exceeded my goal. Now time for measurements:

                                           Starting                        Current                      Difference

Thighs:                                28 in                              26.5 in                         1.5 in (each)

Arms:                                 14.5 in                             14 in                           0.5 in (each)

Neck:                                  13.5 in                             13 in                           0.5 in

Belly:                                   40 in                               39.5 in                        0.5 in

Waist:                                 35.5 in                             32.5 in                         3 in

Chest:                                 43 in                                41.5 in                        1.5 in

Hips:                                   44 in                                43.5 in                        0.5 in

Butt:                                   47 in                                45.5 in                        1.5 in

                                                             Total Lost:             11.5 inches

I am really proud of these numbers, even though I was a little disappointed that I only lost a half inch in my belly. I guess it's true that belly fat really is the hardest to lose. I am really excited about the loss in my thighs. That is an area that really bugs me. Overall I think my first official weigh in was a success! My next weigh in will be on May 11th, which also happens to be the day that we are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. (Since May 9 is on a Thursday) My aim is to be under 200lbs for this next weigh in. I know that it is going to be tough because I only have 3 weeks and not a month, but I am confident that I can do it!

Resist The Temptation!!

Every one who has ever dieted can tell you that when you are trying to eat healthy there is always that one food that is just so hard to resist. I have been lucky because up until this week, I hadn't really experienced much temptation. I am not a big bread person, and I never have been. So I was surprised when I was so tempted this week by garlic bread (twice!). The first time that it hit me was Wednesday night. My husband had the night off so we went to Chili's and to do some shopping. I was good and ordered a 6oz sirloin and a side of corn on the cob. I was well within my calories, so it was nice to break the chicken cycle for a night. I was really proud of myself for doing well at a restaurant, and then they brought out our food. On my plate was my steak, my corn on the cob, and a piece of the garlic bread. Who serves garlic bread with steak anyway? I ignored the bread for a while, but I kept finding myself looking at it. I was even telling myself, if I eat half of it I will still be under my calories. Being under my calories was not important at the moment, what was important was not giving in at a moment of weakness. I told my husband that the garlic bread was really tempting me so being the nice loving man that he is, he took the garlic bread off my plate and proceeded to lick all over it. He looked at me and said, "Do you still want it?" I laughed and replied, "sadly, yes!" He then took a napkin and wrapped the bread up and placed it out of my sight. I did it! I beat my first real craving! The second time was tonight while we were eating supper. We were having lasagna, and I was having a small portion. Right before we were ready to eat Brandon said that he was going to make some garlic bread and asked me if I wanted any. At first I told him yes, because again I was well within my calories for the day. I thought about it and told myself once more, this is not about the calories. It's about the temptation. So I told Brandon to hold off on my bread. I could have eaten it and I would have been fine, but I would rather beat something that is really testing me.

Today's elliptical workout was almost identical to Tuesday's. I only shaved 7 seconds off my time, but that is still improvement. The next post that I do will be on Saturday and I will be weighing in for the first time in 3 weeks on that day. I am excited to weigh in, but I am also trying not to get my hopes up. I will be posting my beginning measurements versus my current measurements so that you can see if I have lost any inches. I will also post a current picture wearing the same outfit as my "before" picture even though I doubt you will be able to see too many changes yet. I want a record of how my body changes with each weigh in. I hope that you will come back on Saturday to check on my progress!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Time Turner

Ever wish you could borrow Hermione Granger's Time Turner necklace so that you could have more hours in the day? I certainly have over the last couple of days. I don't know what it is about this week, but I just feel like there isn't enough time for everything. It seems like by the time I leave work, go to the gym, shower, cook, spend an hour or two at most with my husband, and pick up the house it is time for bed. I would like to point out that although an hour or two with my husband sounds like a lot, he works nights and this is the only time that we get. I commend anyone who sets out on a weight loss journey that has children, I just don't know how you squeeze it all in. I guess I just have to start looking at gym time as my "me time". It sure beats snacking on the couch watching tv. I suppose that I just feel overwhelmed because today I had to add a grocery store run into the mix. I know that I am a lot less busy than most people, and I just have to learn to keep making the most of the time that I have. I enjoy going to the gym and I don't ever want that to feel like a chore, so I think that using gym time as "me time" will help with that. Please tell me I am not the only one that feels stretched too thin every now and then.

Today's run went really well, and I was able to shave a full 3 minutes off of my last run! Keep in mind this was on the elliptical. I hit one mile at 13:42, two miles at 27:30 and three miles at 42:12. I finished my 45 minutes with a full distance of 3.21 miles. Not too shabby for a big girl! I am starting to get really excited about weighing in on Saturday. I hope that you will all come back to check on the results!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Why Am I Fat?

If you are overweight, have you ever taken the time to try and figure out the reason behind it? The obvious reason is that you ate too much or you weren't active enough, or in my case both. But have you ever stopped to look further to try and figure out why you eat too much? Before I started this particular weight loss journey, I forced myself to understand my weight issues. This is what I figured out. I love food, and not just that it tastes good. Food brings comfort to me. I have always loved the wrong kinds of food. I was very thin in high school, but it certainly was not due to my diet. I was very active. I played as many sports as I could. So the way that I was eating never caught up with my until I started college. This might sound severe, but I have come to the conclusion that I have an addiction to food. I have always been the type to think about what I was going to have for lunch hours ahead of time. When I was in college, I would know in my 8:00 class what restaurant I was going to go to on my 12:30 break. I realize now, that is not normal. My bad eating habits caused me to gain about 20 lbs. I was maintaining at that 20 lb weight gain, but only because I was always very busy and on the go constantly. I was still only about 20 lbs heavier that my high school weight when I got married. After I got married I got a job working at a credit union. I am still working at the credit union and I love my job, but this is when I really started to put on the weight. This is the first job that I had where I found myself sitting all day long. I was at the credit union more than eight hours a day, five days a week. The last place that I wanted to spend my lunch hour was at the credit union. Lunch became my escape, my comfort. I went out to lunch every single day, and it was almost always fast food. Lunch made me happy, it was what got me going to finish my day. It didn't really get me going though. I almost always felt sick afterwards as I was dealing with some pretty intense stomach issues at that time (I wonder why.) I would find myself snacking again around 3:00 everyday, not because I was hungry, but because I was bored. I was eating mindlessly, when I wasn't even hungry. I would also start planning what we were going to have for dinner around this time too. I would always over-induldge at dinner because I had a long day, and food made me happy. I gained 50 lbs in the next 3 years. That is how I got to 220 lbs. This information is extremely beneficial to me. Now that I know these things, I know how to conquer my issues with food. When I get down to my goal weight, I know how to never become this again. I don't think that you can truly conquer something until you fully understand it. This time, I know how to beat it.

I did the elliptical today for 45 minutes. I paced myself a little more today because I knew I was adding an additional 15 minutes. I hit one mile at 15:30, two miles at 30:02, and three miles at 45:17. I was surprised how easy it was for me to add the additional time, so I am certain that I will be able to move up to 1 hour by next week. I am learning that the feeling that I get after working out is so much better than the feeling that food used to bring me. I feel so energized, and like I have accomplished something great.  I will take a work out high over a food high any day!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Knee Update

Ok, so I went to the doctor today and I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I can still exercise. That is super important to me because I am doing so well, and I think that taking a hiatus from the gym would be a set back for me. The bad news is that I am not going to be able to do as much running as I want to do. She did some x-rays and came to the conclusion that I have Patello-Femoral Syndrome, which is a fancy way of saying that my knee caps do not fit flush to my femurs. My knee caps are tilted to the outside on both legs. ( There is a picture at the bottom if you are interested). Because of the tilt of my knee cap, the cartilage between the bones of my lower knee has not worn evenly. The cartilage on the inside of my knee has worn much quicker than the outside. So the space between the lower bones in my knee is much smaller than it should be. (There is also a picture of this below). So when I run, the impact in the area where the cartilage is worn is almost causing my bones to grind. This is causing inflammation every time that I run.  I was very confused because I ran cross country in high school and I never had problems with my knees. She said that the running and sports that I did in high school probably caused most of the wearing of the cartilage, and now I am having to deal with the affects of it. Unfortunately because the issue is due to the shape of my knee, it is going to continue to be an issue. I can't just change the position of my bones. So what does this mean for my running? Well I am confined to the elliptical and the pool for at least 3 weeks to give my knees time to rest up. She also put me on an anti-inflammatory for that 3 weeks. At the end of that time, she said I can try to introduce one day of running per week. She wants me to see how I do with that. If my knee hurts, I have to go back to the elliptical. If my knee feels ok for a couple of weeks of doing that, she said that I could increase to a max of 2 running days per week with at least 3 non-running days in between. If my knee gives me any trouble, it is back to the elliptical. She said that I can train for my 5k and run while supplementing with the elliptical for now, but in the next year or so I am going to have to cut running out completely. She said that my x-rays almost look like someone who has arthritis, and that I will eventually struggle with arthritis. So I have decided that I am going to listen to what she said. I will continue to work out on the elliptical and in the pool for the next 3 weeks. I will then try adding the 1 day of running and hopefully I will eventually add a second day of running. I am going to listen to my body, and I will cut back if I feel that I need to. I am going to train for my 5k, and after I run the 5k and meet my goal I am going to stop running. It is really important to me to meet my goal and run a 5k in under 40 minutes, but it is also important to me to preserve my knees as long as I can. I think this is the best way that I can do both. I hope no one thinks that I am bowing out or giving up on my weight loss. I am going to train really hard on the elliptical and in the pool. I am still really excited because I am seeing changes in my body already. I hope that you will stick with me through this even though it is going to go a little different than planned. Since when does anything go as planned anyway? I am dedicated to this and I am going to see it through.

I am not going to do a full workout update today because it was pretty much identical to Tuesday's workout, but I did do a full 30 minutes on the elliptical even though I was in some pain. On Saturday I plan to raise my time on the elliptical to 45 minutes. Let's hope this time, the plan works out.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Self Doubt

As I mentioned in my last post, we did some serious spring cleaning on Saturday. We were trying to make some extra space in my husband's closet so he suggested that we donate some of our coats. It started with just purging some coats that we haven't worn in a while, but then he started pulling out some of my favorites. I immediately grabbed them and put them back. He looked at me and said, "these aren't going to fit you next year!" I didn't care, at that moment those coats were like a security blanket for me. My husband hit the nail on the head when he said, "you're scared that you will be able to wear them." Why shouldn't I? Every other time I have set out on a weight loss journey, I have failed. I was filled with so much self doubt that it was overwhelming me. I took a second to breathe and I remembered the title of my first blog post, "This Time Is Different". Then it hit me, that's why I shouldn't be scared that those coats will fit this winter, because this time is different. It wasn't without anxiety but I donated all but two of my coats. (The weather here can't quite make up it's mind so I kept one dressy coat and one casual coat). It really liberated me though, I then went to my closet and got rid of so many sweaters. Why? Because they won't fit me next winter! It's an exciting thought.

Today I ran 30 minutes on the elliptical, but unfortunately it did irritate my knee a little. I hit 1 mile at 14:02 and 2 miles at 19:02. I am going to the doctor Thursday morning so I am sure that I will be back on the grind soon. This injury has proved to me just how different this time is. If I had any pain or any excuse to quit before I would, right away. Not this time though. I refuse to quit. I will deal with the pain and do whatever I have to do to get back to 100%. This time it's a permanent change!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah

Ouch!

It's that time of year again, yesterday was spring cleaning day. The minor task of re-organizing my closet turned into a whole house clean out and purge! This is also why I did my run today, and not yesterday. I figured all the furniture moving and hauling 3 totes full of books up into the attic was a sufficient work out for one day. My arms are killing me today but it's okay because my house looks great! In other news though, I have done something to my knees. I am not sure what, but it hurts to bend or rotate them and it is darn near impossible to squat. You may remember me saying that they started bothering me after Tuesday's run, but by Thursday they felt decent so I went forward with my run. I think that might have been a mistake because they are much worse now. I don't think that there is anything seriously wrong. I just think my joints don't like running with as much weight as they are carrying. Anyway, I have scheduled an appointment for Thursday with an Orthopedic Doctor to have them checked out. In the mean time I am still doing my runs, but I am using an elliptical machine. I can still get a pretty good work out on the elliptical but it is much easier on my knees. I am just doing this as a precaution until I can speak with the doctor to see what is going on. I am sure that she will just tell me to take it easy and use the elliptical until they are feeling better. No biggie. I didn't do intervals today on the elliptical, I just went as fast as I could and set the machine to a 30 minute work out. The elliptical machines at my gym don't show a speed so I can't really tell you how fast I was going. My speed really kind of depends on the song that I am listening to at the time, so I try to keep it up beat. I hit the 1 mile mark at 13:26 and the 2 mile mark at 29:07, so I must have been losing speed towards the end. Anyway, this is what I am going to be doing at least until Thursday when I can get some answers. On non-running days I will be swimming laps, since that will be easy on my knees as well. I just want to get them healed up as quickly as possible so I can get to my 5k goal!

Run Your Butt Off

Today I would like to make a recommendation for anyone who might be attempting a program similar to mine. I have been reading the book Run Your Butt Off. The cover describes it as a breakthrough plan to lose weight and start running (no experience necessary!). Sounds just like what I am doing, huh? Well my husband thought so too, which is why he bought it for me. I am only a couple of chapters in and it is already extremely helpful. The plan that they use is different from what I am doing but similar. They have a team that includes a sport's nutritionist, a physiologist, and an avid runner that all interject advise and tips. In the fist chapter it has you calculate your BMR which is your base metabolic rate. This is basically the number of calories that your body burns in a normal day just by being, no exercise included. Based on how active your lifestyle is (again not including exercise) it can help you determine what your BMR is. This is important because if you know what your BMR is than you can calculate how many calories you need to take in per day as well as how many calories you need to burn by exercising to create a deficit. When you create a deficit, that is when you lose weight. That is just one of many helpful topics that this book goes over. It also covers things ranging from nutrition to the type of clothes that you should wear when you are running. I definitely recommend it to anyone who is starting a running program.

Onto to the interval. I was honestly a little worried about today's run since my run on Tuesday was so bad. My knees have been bothering me since Tuesday, so that was also a concern. My knees were feeling almost up to par by today so I decided to go for it. I did however change things up, and I think that I am going to change the way I do my intervals from now on. Like I said before I use the GymBoss app to time my intervals, only I don't like it that much. I am always forgetting that I can't lock my phone when I use it, so it ends up stopping the timer and I have no idea when to change. The best run that I have had thus far was on Saturday when the app wasn't working (user error) and I ran half a lap and walked half a lap. So I decided to ditch the app and go back to that. I am so glad that I did because I decreased my time by almost a minute! My total time was 13:42. I walked 8 minutes and 6 seconds and I ran 5 minutes and 36 seconds. I am getting there! My shins gave me just a little bit of trouble towards the end, but nothing compared to Tuesday. From now on instead of increasing my intervals by time I am going to increase them by distance. So on the next interval I will try running a whole lap and walking a whole lap, then running a lap and a half and walking one lap, and so forth and so on. I think that this will work much better for me, so that is the plan for now.

Thanks for reading,

Sarah

I'm Not Hungry!

I have not really talked about the diet part of my weight loss plan. That's because I have been figuring it out, and now I feel like I've got it down. I have been using the MyFitnessPal app to make sure that I am staying to my calories. I am allowed 1230 calories per day, which is honestly less than half of what I was eating before. For the first week I felt so hungry. Nothing filled me up. I was still trying to eat foods that I was eating before, only in smaller portions. After being miserable for about 5 days I decided to start trying healthier options so that I could have larger portions. This helped a lot. I am not going to lie and say that I felt full or even completely satisfied every day, but it was much more manageable. My body was learning a very difficult lesson, and that is that feeling full does not mean feeling so stuffed that you feel sick. Being full means that you have satisfied your hunger. Well, after 11 days of being on this journey I think my body has finally figured it out. I am not feeling hungry anymore. Today I felt completely satisfied from a lunch that was only 321 calories. I have been avoiding restaurants when possible, but I try not to freak out when faced by one. We were invited to a restaurant Saturday night that I was not familiar with. They didn't have an online menu, so I could not plan ahead of time. It was a burger place and they had no salad options. I started to panic a little, but then I found the kid's menu. They had a grilled chicken sandwich. It did come with fries but because of the portion size I was able to stay at 430 calories for the whole meal. Not too shabby. My point is, no matter where you go you can control your calories. If you can't control the actual food, you can control your portions. The good news is that after a few weeks, those smaller portions will satisfy you. I promise! If I can leave Easter dinner with my southern family with only 503 calories and not feeling deprived, you can do it too!

Now, I wish that I could be as positive about today's interval, but I promised you good, bad, and ugly. The truth is, today was ugly. The whole workout just sucked. I stretched before I ran, but my shins gave me a lot of trouble this time. My time was actually slower because the minute of running wore me down so badly that my walking was really slow. My total time was 15:22 with 5 minutes running and 10 minutes 22 seconds walking. This one just kicked my butt, but I guess that is the point, right? I am trying to push myself here. Each interval is going to challenge me, and today was definitely a challenge. Hopefully as the week goes on, this interval will get easier for me. If it doesn't, I will repeat it. I am not going to move on to the next interval until I feel that I have succeeded this one. Sorry the end of this has been kind of depressing, but I knew that there would be ups and downs to this. I promised you real, so you are getting real. I hope to give you a better update on Thursday!

Thanks for reading,
Sarah