Weigh In Number One

I honestly thought that I would be a bit more excited while writing this post, and don't get me wrong I am super happy to see 5lbs less on the scale. I am not bummed with the number. I am just bummed with my effort. I feel like so far I have been doing this by dipping my toe in cold water and slowly wading in to get acclimated to the temperature instead of just jumping into the deep end. Over this last three weeks I feel like I have lost and gained back the same 3 lbs over and over again. I would be really dedicated with my diet during the week and then splurge a little on the weekends but the problem is that every weekend I feel like I have been undoing the progress that I have made all week. Other than a few walks I have not been working out at all and I just know that overall I could be doing so much better. I thought that starting this blog back would be the magic missing puzzle piece that I needed to get myself motivated again. The blog was and is a great tool for accountability for me and it is a great outlet to express how I am feeling, but I feel like I romanticized it a bit and attributed all my previous success to the blog. The blog is not the reason that I was successful last time. I was successful last time because I dug deep and did the work. I feel like I am there now. I am in a brand new headspace and I finally feel like I am ready to take this on for the right reasons and I am excited to see the weigh in three weeks from now to see what my progress looks like when I am really trying.

My husband has a strange work schedule so that has left me with a lot of excuses to skip out on getting back in the gym. I know that I can work out at home, but there is just something about getting in the gym that really lights a fire under my butt. So we have a new plan. We are going to sit down together every Sunday and look at his schedule for the following week and I am going to plan out and schedule my workouts. That way I will have a plan to know which days I will be going to the gym in the morning before work and which days I will be going once Harrison goes to bed. I am actually going to be writing down my workouts in my calendar to help me stick to them. 

To be honest with you, the workouts for me are not as much about the weight loss as they are about how they make me feel. I am so much more motivated to stick to my diet when I am working out and it honestly just makes me feel so good and I have so much more energy when I am making time to get to the gym. My anxiety is so much better when I am working out as well and I always feel much more clear mentally when I am pushing my body and elevating my heart rate. 

I hope that you will stick with me because I have a feeling, this is about to get GOOD!

Harder Than I Thought

If you had asked me a year ago if losing weight or maintaining weight loss was harder, I would have rolled my eyes and answered "losing weight by a long shot". Now, I think my answer would be different. I was convinced that once I had lost my weight that maintaining that weight loss would be a walk in the park. Wow, was I sorely mistaken there! I had restricted my diet for so long that I wanted to allow myself to eat the things that I enjoy in moderation. The problem is, when you are someone like me who struggles with food on an emotional level...that moderation thing is tricky! I wish that it hadn't taken me gaining back 20 lbs to realize just how out of hand my eating habits have gotten again, but unfortunately the case. I have wanted to write this blogpost for a while, but I was afraid that I would be faced with so much judgement for putting weight back on. I realize that most of that judgement comes from myself, but people are critical when people put weight BACK on. Don't think that's true? Tell me that you haven't looked at a picture of Jonah Hill lately and said, "how did he let himself get that big again." Oprah is continually mocked for her "yo-yo weight". Well, judge away if you want but it's more difficult than you think I assure you.

I had done fairly well with continuing to exercise at least once or twice a week. Then, I met Cierra. Cierra is a girl that I worked with briefly, and although we only worked together for a short time we became friends. Cierra and I are fairly evenly matched on a fitness level so we became workout partners. We started working out together several times a week, and I had accountability again. Kind of. I had accountability again, but only in the gym. We were doing lots of cardio but my body was staying the same. I was no longer gaining weight, but I certainly wasn't losing either. A couple of months ago I suggested a new workout plan for us. We both wanted a personal trainer but did not want to pay the money for one. I suggested that we start taking turns planning our workouts with the intention of challenging the other as much as possible. We decided to add weight training into our workouts as well. We each strive every week to plan a workout that pushes the other to the brink and it has worked wonderfully for us. We no longer waste a single workout. We go in with a plan and we give it our all until we can't go anymore. You put a lot more effort into a workout when you are planning it for someone other than yourself. We have been using this system for about two months and I am starting to see results in my body. I am stronger, and my endurance is much higher, but my weight is not changing. Want to know why? Because I haven't been putting the effort into my eating. Well, that is changing. For the last week, I have been making a conscious effort to be careful of the fuel that I put into my body. I am going to get this weight back off and I will keep it off this time. I'm sure that you have your doubts, why wouldn't you? I am more determined than ever and I am excited for you to watch my progress in the coming months! The blog is back! I have missed this outlet as a means of staying on track. Here we go...

Time to rein it in!

So I have to admit that the "not eating so restricted" thing has been fun, but enough is enough. I had told myself that maintaining my weight would be so easy compared to losing the weight. I would just eat well most of the time and splurge from time to time. The thing is, for me in particular if I am not setting specific restrictions, I end up splurging WAY too much. I am ashamed to say that I have gained seven pounds back and I have GOT to rein this in before that number gets any higher. I have decided that I am going to allow myself one splurge meal per week and one splurge dessert per week. If I plan my splurges than I know that I have to eat well the rest of the time, no excuses. It is too easy to eat badly today and say, "oh well, I'll eat better tomorrow." The problem with that is, tomorrow rolls around and I say the same thing again. Before you know it, seven tomorrows have gone by and you still haven't "done better". 

I am going to do things a little differently this time, in that I am not going to set a goal weight. I am actually not going to pay attention to the number on the scale at all. I am going to put all of my focus into what I want my body to look like, because in the end that is what really matters. People who have super toned bodies do strength training, and they usually weigh a lot more than what you would think. Muscle, as we all know weighs more than fat and therefore negates what the scale says. As a woman in particular it is kind of scary to throw the scale out the window, but also very freeing. I am obviously not going to actually get rid of my scale, but I am going to let the way my body looks determine my goals verses a magical number. 

Let's see how this goes, I look forward to keeping you updated! If you want to check out one of my favorite fitness youtubers, I encourage you to. She explains things much more efficiently than me. Here's the link!

http://youtu.be/tEoc-E_I8HY

Thanks for reading!

Sarah